Crying Out

Prayer is so amazing! I have struggled with prayer for the past few weeks now and desire to spend time with my Creator. I was reading a prayer journal that I found in our prayer room and I came across a prayer written February 5, 2002. I read this prayer and fell flat on my face because this anonymous person was crying out for God. There have not been many occasions where I have desperately cried out to God because I so desired Him and needed Him. Here is the prayer: "Father, I pray for guidance. I don't know what to do. I really messed up. I'm so lost. What am I suppose to say? What am I suppose to do? I can't deal with it on my own. I pray you take the burdens away because it hurts. I'm hurting and I don't know how to make it stop. Why? Why is there so much hate? Why no forgiveness? Why pain? Why pain? Why pain? How do I mend a broken heart? All the questions, Lord, that I don't know the answers to. I pray for peace and wisdom that I may understand the questions. Help me Father! In Love and Faith ~J." Are you crying out for the Lord?

Letting Go

At the beginning of the summer for our first Koinonia, we focused on letting go. There is so much in my life that I have refused to let go and continue to hold on to. I said that I was going to let go of everything and give it all up to God, but as I continue to grow closer to him, I realize that I still am holding on tightly to several things. God calls me to give it all up to Him, but for some reason I'm just not trusting Him to provide what he has already promised. Why can I not trust Him? Because I have been holding on so dearly, I have continued to spiral down away from Christ because I feel like I can do things so much better on my own. My time in the Word has dwindled, my prayer life has become scarce, and it's all because I hide it all within and think I can handle it on my own. Prayer is the most powerful thing I've ever experienced, and it is through prayer that God desires to have a relationship with me. Back to letting go of things...I've been holding onto some feelings for so long because I knew it was what I desired, but I completely left God out of the picture. I have been holding onto these feelings hoping and wishing that something would come about and have focused on those feelings for so long that I refused to allow God to show me where I was supposed to be. I was listening to some music of Jeremy Camp and Shawn McDonald and they both have amazing songs entitled "Letting Go." God was telling me straight up to finally let go of what I've held onto so dear and to completely trust in Him to show me the way and to trust in the promises He has given, especially when it comes to relationships. The following lines are from Jeremy Camp's song, "I have been brought to a place Where I want to give up everything Where all I can do is seek your face The brokenness I will bring Letting Go Of the things I hold so dear Letting Go Of all my pain and all my fears Letting Go Of the Things I hold so dear Letting Go Of all my pain and all my fears holding onto the things I deem so strong Holding on even though I know I've held on too long." Oh man, talk about a slap in the face!! I know that I have to let go of these things, these feelings, and completely trust the Lord and know that he will provide and that He has promised so much and that He can and will forever and always redeem. I am letting go of the things I've held so dear. What are you still holding on to?

Desire

Once you get into college, life suddenly changes. All of sudden you have about 4 years to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life! No pressure! HAHA. We have desires to do a ton of thing so how do we figure out what God wants us to do. If we are walking with the Lord and spending time with Him then the desires that are in our heart are the desires that God has put there. The best part about this is that I have found my passions/desires, which are working with youth and I have decided to become a high school teacher. But, what I don't know is where I will end up/want to teach. All through college it has been hard to figure out what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life which has been great because God has been keeping me on my toes which has made me rely on Him so much! I know my gift is working with kids/youth and I know for a fact that these desires are derived from the Lord, which brings joy to my life. Don't stress out because you might not know exactly what you want to do, rather trust in the Lord and have faith that he will reveal Himself and will place desires in your life. What desires has God placed in you?

Why I love StudentLife

So this video was done by one of our former students and now one of our middle school leaders, Blaine. He is flippin hilarious. This is what keeps us entertained at youth at Summit! People want to know why I love working with the youth so much, well that is why! HAHA! Laughter is so amazing, it definitely rejuvinates me. Great job with the video guys!

An Amazing Night

Thursday night we went to the Dave Barnes and Matt Wertz concert which was just awesome! I had a great time with some great people listening to some of the best music ever!! The video above is just a little sample of what you missed out on and how I felt. WOW!!! The concert was amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to their music. Although I was with some wonderful people, I couldn't stop thinking about somebody. I couldn't get them off my mind. This person introduced me to the music of Matt Wertz, Dave Barnes and various other amazing artists that are simply awesome! I miss this person like crazy and every time I listen to most of those artists I can't help but to be reminded of her! Music has become a part of my life and I don't know what I would do without music! It is a way of expression and most importantly a way of worship. It reminds me of some amazing people who in turn point me straight to the cross. I love the fact that music is everywhere and is so amazing and reminds me of some of the most amazing people ever! If only music could bring those people here with me, but the memories and their beautiful faces will always be with me until God allows our paths to cross again. How does music influence your life?

Passion

So, I have been thinking about this for a while now and just can't get it out of my head. To start, there is just no way to explain spending a summer at Caswell, or even spending a weekend with some amazing Caswell people. After being around Caswell and around the people that work at Caswell so much, I guess you could say that I've been spoiled. Being around those people has truly revolutionized my life and the way of worship. While at Caswell you can watch and experience some of the most passionate worship ever! It is truly an inexplicable thing. A couple examples of this was just listening to voices echoing in exaltation around the room, or in the streets on a rainy night with songs of praise echoing through the forts and the night. If that wasn't enough to show the passion of worship, imagine sitting around a room or a campfire and having random conversations and then all of a sudden breaking out into praise and worship songs glorifying our Lord. The latter in its entirety is true passionate out of the soul worship. I've thought about this lately because I long for everyone to experience that passionate worship, and it is difficult to find Christians that that are unashamed of their love for Christ to truly worship Him. Most of the time we are too caught up in what others think about us, or how we look to others that we don't truly worship our King. We are told in the Word to rejoice and take joy in the Lord, which if we did it would turn into amazing passionate worship. Are you taking joy in the Lord and passionately worshipping?