True Love

So what is Love? It's funny to think about how many things that we say we love. The English language has taken the word love and applied to many different things and unfortunately when it comes to the love between a man and a woman, it has lost its meaning. Love has so many meanings in today's society but what is true love between a man and a woman? In order to figure this out we must look to the Bible. In the Greek language there are several different words for our English word 'love.' The main three used to describe the love between a man and a woman are 'raya,' 'ahava,' and 'dod.' Raya literally translates as a friend or a companion, which is the basis of a love relationship. If there is no friendship and there is no companionship then there is no relationship. I have many rayas in my life but that is the only facet of love that we have. Ahava translates as love of the will. This means making a decision to join your life to the life of another. This is an emotion that leads to a commitment. In order to truly experience love we(men) are told to give up our lives for our wife as Christ did for the church (Ephesians 5:25-33); the wife gets to submit but the husband gets to die. Finally, there is dod. Dod means to carouse, rock, or to fondle. This is the physical, sexual element to a relationship that God designed for marriage. Without all three aspects listed above, it is hard to have true love in a marriage as God intended for us to have. One of the things that I have been taught to do, and it is amazing, is to turn to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and to replace the word 'love' with my name and see if I have the attributes listed. God has called us to have those things in order to love. Are you ready to love?

Empty Worship

For one of our devotions we were huddled in the attic of one of the buildings in the dark in order to hide from the persecutors who were after us. During this time we began singing and we continued to sing louder and louder until we got to the last song and the doors below us began to slam and people were screaming and trying to find us. And then somebody busted through the attic door and said, "You Christians, why do you take your freedom to worship for granted?" Now of course this was all planned out and was a simulation of something that could actually happen, but it made me think about how we worship. I came to the conclusion that our worship has become empty. There are so many times that we will sing 'praise and worship' songs and not even know what we are saying, but are just singing because it is fun and we like the song. If we actually paid attention to the words that we were singing then we would realize how empty our worship is and how amazing God is. Don't get me wrong I love to sing and to have fun just as much as the next person, but in all things God has called us to worship Him, and to give Him glory and honor. Another thing that is prevalent in our lives is the fact that many of us can be fake or wear masks as others may say. So many of us do this and it is a shame that we do. God has not called us to be perfect people or to live perfect lives. Even Jesus said that we will face trials and tribulations and that we are all sinners saved by the Grace of God. God wants us to be real with Him and with those around us. He doesn't want us to hide what is going on in our lives. He has put other people in our lives in order to help us through our struggles. We have got to quit being fake and to tear off the masks and just be real with each other. Once we do that our worship will no longer be empty. Is your worship empty?

Interpretation?

Again I was talking to some people the other day after our devotion. For part of our devotion we watched one of the Nooma videos by Rob Bell, entitled Dust. These videos are amazing and great and I have enjoyed being exposed to them. Anyways, during part of the discussion they were talking about how different people will 'interpret' the Bible according to their lives. Well I got to thinking about how much I dislike the word 'interpretation'. The reason I do not like to use the word 'interpretation' is because it makes it seem as if the Bible could have many many many different meanings where as it has one meaning and that is one total truth. As I was thinking I decided that the most appropriate word to use in these situations is 'application.' I chose 'application' because the Word of God is truth, but it is applied to peoples lives differently. Therefore, instead of saying that people have different interpretations of the Bible, I feel as if it is better or more appropriate to say that the Word of God is truth but different people have different applications of the Word in their lives. Are you interpreting the Gospel or are you seeking and applying it to your life?

Please bow your heads...

I was talking with some people the other day after one of our devotions and I got to thinking about prayer. I was thinking about how awesome prayer is and that it is cool that God can hear our thoughts and our voices and desires to have conversation with us and wants us to cry out to him. When I got to thinking about it, I was thinking about how before people pray they usually ask others to bow their heads as they go to the Lord in prayer. Well I pondered on this for a while and was thinking why is it that we bow our heads and close our eyes? So many people say to do this because one can concentrate better/easier, but what is the real reason we bow our heads and close our eyes? In order to find this answer we have to go back and think about the days of Jesus and before. When people would praise or pray to Jesus/God they would fall to their knees and bow their heads to honor the Lord to show that they surrender and completely worship Him. This is evident in other religions such as Islam/Muslim. Have you ever thought about the fact that to fall on your knees and to bow in prayer is to show complete surrender and honor to our Lord? It is a shame that we have become so prideful and forgetful that we no longer fall to our knees and cry out to the Lord to show that we surrender to Him. I am just as guilty of this as the next person, but how amazing and uplifting would it be to show God that we surrender to His will and that we fall to our knees and bow our heads to show Him honor and to put ourselves aside so that all the glory and all the praise is His. Are you surrendering?

The summer begins...

So we are about 4 weeks into the summer here at Caswell, and I have to say that it has been absolutely awesome! God has been doing great things, as always, in the lives of the campers and the staffers. There have already been hundreds of decisions made and a couple of those have been of the staff. That is one of the most encouraging things to see. The other night, it was the last night of camp for the campers, the youth were on fire for Christ and it was such an awesome thing to witness. They were so pumped up and were giving all the praise to God and to see such things was so encouraging and uplifting. I wish that everybody could come and see the things that God is doing here. He is continuing to work through and in us and I cannot wait to see what the rest of the summer is going to be like, but I know one thing for sure; God is awesome and the loving grace of Christ is the greatest thing I've ever experienced.

Intentions

Tonight was yet another amazing night! I have the great opportunity to attend the Phil Wickham, Shane & Shane concert. (Shawn McDonald was supposed to be there but his wife had a baby and he couldn't attend.) Going into the weekend and the night of the concert, I was being selfish and was focused on myself more than thinking about worship. I continued to think about hanging out with my friends, catching up, and meeting others instead of purposely seeking the Gospel and actively being in worship and prayer. As the night continued we went to the concert and Phil and Shane & Shane straight up rocked our faces off! My favorite songs of the night were "Divine Romance" by Phil Wickham and "I Miss You" by Shane & Shane, which almost broke me down in tears so I definitely suggest you finding that song and listening to it!! More importantly God basically slapped me across the face. The whole concert was awesome and it was an amazing night of worship. The songs that we sang just made me think about my relationship with Christ and the things that He has done in my life and how He has blessed me so greatly. I realized how the whole night and for a while now that I've been being so foolish and have been rather selfish/self-minded lately and not being in continuous prayer and worship. Instead of seeking God and His worship and love, I had been more interested and focused on the people around me. My intentions were elsewhere and not focused where they should have been, and singing in worship with the hundreds of people at the concert and hearing the words being sung was an amazing experience and I thank God that He loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for us!! God was definitely present tonight at that concert and it was a well needed wake-up call to stop being selfish and to be in continuous worship and prayer. What are your intentions?

National Day of Prayer

Tonight was amazing! Instead of having our normal youth night, we had a night devoted to prayer. Thursday (tomorrow) is national prayer day therefore we devoted the entire night of youth to prayer. Let me just say, watching and listening the youth lead each other in prayer was simply amazing!! There were several of the adults that got up and spoke about the Summit Church's mission statement, "Love God, Love Each Other, Love the World" and then allowed the youth to respond by breaking into groups to pray. Witnessing these kids, mainly the younger middle school crowd, lead each other in a time of prayer and response to God was awesome! That was one of the most encouraging things I have ever seen. When you think about a night of prayer within youth, you tend to think about the adults leading the youth and not the youth leading each other. I have to say that the members of this youth group have encouraged me and are an amazing group of kids and it is evident that God is working in and through their lives and He will use them to do great things not only in Durham but throughout our state, country, and world. To witness them submitting themselves to God's will has been a blessing and they have impacted my life greatly. Have you submitted everything to God?

Spring Fling and Planning Weekend

This past weekend was spring fling and planning weekend at Caswell. Unfortunately I was unable to participate in any of the spring fling stuff since I was pretty much in a meeting all weekend for summer staff planning. It was an amazing weekend and we got a whole lot of stuff done and planned out for the summer. It was fun because I was able to hang out with the other three members of the Key Leadership team and get a glimpse of what the summer is going to look like. I cannot wait for the summer to get here, but first I have to finish up the last bit of the semester and the five finals that stand in my way. One of the things that God continues to show me is that I shouldn't be so anxious and looking to the future so often, but rather focus on the here and now, for if I am focused on the summer I will miss the opportunities He has given me. I am often reminded of Matthew 6:34 ""So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Are you being too anxious and looking too much at the future?

Who ordered the snow?

WOW what a crazy Easter weekend! As you read I spent Easter weekend in Ohio with my family. Well the weather was ridiculous in Ohio! We got about 3 feet of snow and it was pretty flippin amazing. Since we didn't get much snow for Christmas it was great to see all the snow for Easter! We got to go to Opening Day at Jacobs Field in Cleveland (for those who don't know that is the Indians baseball field). Anyways it snowed like crazy during the game and eventually because of all the white outs and delays they cancelled the game, one pitch/one strike away from a complete game! Even though they cancelled the game it was still a lot of fun especially since I got to go with my dad and brother. It has been a long time since we've gone to a ball game together so it was a great time. Now I am back in Chapel Hill with the warmer weather and the tons of school work! UGH! But in about a month I'll be about of school and at the beach with some of the greatest people at Caswell!!! I can't wait! Well through everything I think it is clear that God is amazing!

Catching up...

Wow it has been way too long since I've written!! So a lot has occurred over the past two months so let me catch you up on the things God has been showing me...

The month of March was packed full of amazing things. To begin, the first weekend of March we had Metamorphosis with the Summit youth, which is basically just a D-Now. It was great; we had about 70 students attend and I got to hang out with 6th grade boys all weekend and just be crazy! We had a western dance thing that they actually hired some old guy to be the DJ/caller for about an hour and I have to say it was a whole lot of fun. Oh and did I mention that we all looked ridiculous in our "western/country gear." HAHA that's the first time that I've ever dressed up anything like western and I wasn't really all decked out, it was a cowboy hat, bandanna, and blue jeans (there's a picture on facebook). Anyways, it was just a whole lot of fun! Saturday night we had a guest speaker come in and several youth made decisions to follow Christ, which was AWESOME!! Also, there were about 6 or 7 youth, all middle schoolers, that have decided that they are being called into ministry. How amazing and encouraging is that! To hear these middle schoolers say that they want to devote their lives to Christ in every way is so awesome.

About a week later it was already spring break! For spring break I went with 23 others from our BSU to Gulfport, Mississippi. Words cannot explain what was seen and the people there. We worked on a house that had not been touched since the storm. Our job was to pretty much demolish the house so that another group could come in and rebuild. The house belonged to a guy named Jack. The house was his mothers, but she passed after some time and his house across the street was completely torn apart by the storm. Jack had told us that he had lost all hope and that when he saw us young people giving up our week to come help, it lifted his spirits and renewed his hope and faith. It was very encouraging and uplifting to hear Jack speak to us and I thank God that we had the opportunity to meet and talk to Jack. A couple of the things that we learned/took with us was that our job there was just like what God does in our lives, meaning that he has to break us down and tear us apart in order to rebuild us in Christ. Also, that when it seems like there is no hope and we have nothing left, God is there and He lifts us up and carries us through and shows us that in Him there is always hope. And finally, many of us had been bitten by a million bugs, cut by a board or by a nail, but all those cuts, bruises, and scrapes put together don't amount to those that provide us with salvation, those scars, cuts, punctures, and bruises that Jesus the Christ suffered for us are eternal and bring us salvation.

Moving along, the weekend after spring break I went to Charlotte to Idlewild Baptist Church to lead a D-Now. Yet another amazing weekend with youth, that God allowed me to be a part of. I got to hang out with some great guys and really got to see God at work in their lives. We had some great discussions and Saturday night I was the guest speaker. This was the first time that I have ever actually preached for a group before, and let me just say I loved it!! I was asked to speak about repentance and salvation, so I began by giving part of my testimony and then continued to preach. Once I finished speaking, an invitation was given and a couple of the youth decided to follow Christ, and others made rededications. Again another powerful thing that God allowed me to be a part of.

Now here we are, one week later and school has been ridiculous and I've been running around being busy all day every day. Besides all that I am now in Ohio and the weather is CRAZY! It was about 84 in NC when I left and here it is about 25 and it is a freaking blizzard! Anyways, we came for Easter, and to see my family. More importantly we came to see my great grandmother who is in an intensive car unit. She is about 95 years old and knows that God is calling her home soon. We are really close with her and even though it is hard to let her go she has been so encouraging in keeping her faith and praying in times of pain. It will be sad and hard to see her go but I know that she will be going to a better place and will be with God. She too knows this and is ready to be with our Savior. All she has asked for is prayer and I know that Christ is with her.

So now you are caught up with everything that has gone on in the past two months and I will try to keep updating regularly, mainly so that Shannon can have something to read! God is awesome and when you least expect it He will find you! Stay encouraged and actively seek the Gospel in your life! Are you allowing God to work in and through you?

Being a light

Again, it has been forever since I've been able to sit and write or even think. Life has been busy but I do it all for the glory of God. So I am playing basketball (don't worry I don't do much because of my ankle) for IM with our BSU and it is in the intermediate league which is really hard. Even though it is a little difficult, we are there to portray Christ and to show His love to others. The first night we played, one of the refs was talking to another ref before the game and said "There's something different about that team, I don't know what but there is." A couple minutes later he saw us praying before the game and he then knew what was different about us. All throughout the game, he was obviously watching us, but at the end we prayed with the other team and we were given the amazing opportunity to share Christ with several people including this ref who has been struggling with his faith for a while. He said that he was so happy to finally meet some people who are showing the love of Christ around this campus. Each week we continue to get dominated on the basketball court, but we do for the sake of Christ, in order to spread His name and His love. It is an amazing experience to be able to share the love of Christ with others and to spread the Gospel. God has given us so much and He doesn't ask much in return. "I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ" ~Philippians 3:4~ I sacrifice it all for the gain of Christ, so that I may be a light unto this dark world. Are you being a light to those around you?

Fear

So I have been thinking a lot about life and a lot of other things lately and I thought about why I do or don't do things. I put more thought into the latter, being about why I don't do things. I thought a whole lot about it and the one reason I came up with why I don't do certain things is because of fear. Simply and only because of fear. There are points in my life where I will not approach somebody because of fear, fear of what, I have no idea. Sometimes I will not talk to somebody about my faith because I fear their judgment or what they may say to me. Why on earth would or should I be afraid of doing such a thing?!? I know that God is with me every step of the way so then what is there to be afraid of? As it is written, "The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?" ~Psalm 27:1~ Therefore, there is nothing in this world that I should be afraid of doing because I know my God is with me. One more thing that I find myself being fearful of doing is discussing or telling somebody how I truly feel about them. This is something that is the hardest for me mainly because I fear being rejected. I have held in so many feelings (particularly over the summer and last semester) solely because of that fact, because I don't want to experience another heart break. What am I to fear when I know that God has accepted me and will never stop loving me and that He will always be here with His arms opened wide. No longer will I fear doing anything because I know God is with me. I will not let fear of anything hold me back from talking to, approaching, or letting somebody know how I feel. I will put up with whatever cost I have to put up with, because the cost of doing nothing is even greater. Are you doing nothing?

Giving it all away

At church yesterday our pastor's message was all about giving, and not only monetary giving, giving 100% of all you have to God. On top of that, the Sunday school class that I taught for the 6th grade boys was the parable of Jesus and the rich man, where Jesus tells him in order to follow him he must give up everything he owns. Between Sunday school and church and during the sermon, I thought long and hard about how much of myself/my life I've given to God. He wants everything from us including the burdens. He has already given us so much and He asks just a little bit in return. I thought about the areas of my life that I was selfishly withholding from God and not allowing Him to take control. I've realized that what I have wouldn't be possible if it were not for God's love, mercy, and grace. Who am I to try to withhold anything from the one who has provided it for me. It is through Him that all things are possible.

The other night we went bowling and it was the cosmic bowling thing which is really fun and you all should go and do it! Anyways at one point in the night I decided to just take a step back and just watch and see how my friends interacted with each other. I began to think about how others view me and the things that I do and how I interact with others. One of the points of our preacher's sermon yesterday was about Christians' actual beliefs. He used an equation that fits perfectly, actions + stated beliefs = actual beliefs. It is not enough to only state that I am a Christian and that I believe in Jesus Christ, but I have to put that into action and others should be able to observe me and know that by the way I act that there is something different about me and that that is the fact that I am a Christian. Therefore, it is by my actions that most people will be able to know that I am a Christian because there are so many more people that watch/see you and the things you do than you will be able to speak to. Just something to think about. Are you withholding anything from God? How do others see you?

Reason

So it has definitely been a good while since I've been able to sit down and write. In the past few weeks a lot has happened in my life. First, let me say that Christmas break is just way too short and I didn't get to see as many people as I had hoped. On the other hand Caswell Summer Staff was simply amazing, but again I missed not getting to see a few people, especially one that I hung out with all summer long (Shannon)!! Anyways besides the fact that I miss them, this has been a couple of interesting weeks.

That being said, my reasoning for writing these blogs is to first and foremost bring praise and glory to God, but I write to record my thoughts and experiences of my life that I am going through or those that I see others going through around me. These blogs are for me so that I can look back on them and see how God is working in my life and how He is using me. The questions or statements that I write are again directed towards myself so that I can see where I was and the troubles I was facing in my life at that time. The experiences that I recount are true and are not meant to be disrespectful or hurtful to anybody, they are merely there to help and to show that other people are going through similar things that you may experience. If some will perceive me to be a hypocrite then so be it, but keep in mind that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes and screw up. It is by God's grace that I am able to be who I am today and have the people I do in my life. I thank Him for that and appreciate everyone who is around me. It is my hope that I am being an example of Christ and I would hope that the things I type will also help others and if anybody would like to talk to me about anything I write or do I would be more than happy to speak with you especially if it is something you disagree with me on, I would rather you speak with me than post an anonymous negative comment. May God continue to bless every one of you and I pray that He continues to use me for the betterment of His Kingdom.

Surgery

Well it's been a few days since I've been able to sit down and think and type. So I had surgery on my foot again and that went really well and I am recovering now with almost no pain, which is amazing!! I would like to say thank you to everyone who prayed for me during the week I really appreciate it. It is amazing what can happen when people care enough to say a simple prayer for you. Prayer is so powerful and something that the Bible says is definitely necessary. Prayer is our way to communicate with God, not soley to ask for things, but it is a way to converse with Him. We usually spend too much time talking, whining, and asking for selfish things instead of sitting with Him and just listening or reading His Word. So again I would like to thank all of you who spent the time in prayer for me and would encourage you to continue doing so, because God can do so many things if we give Him the time, glory, and praise. Are you wasting your time?

Life goes on...

This semester is coming to a close and we are finally in the last couple of days of exams! But with that, everybody including myself is extremely stressed out and is freaking out about these stupid exams. I really don't think we should have to take finals, but that's just my opinion. One thing I have noticed is that people change during exam week. Some people become hermit crabs and you never see them, others become really mean and unpleasant to be around. I realize that finals are a good chunk of your grade, but it isn't a matter of life or death. Some people become so caught up in these tests that they think if they do bad (and for most of them that means get a C!!) their college career is over. Au contraire my friends, no matter how you do on these tests I've come to find out that life does go on. It isn't the end of the world if I get a C in a class, shoot for most of my classes a C is GREAT!!! So be encouraged, and know that these tests are a small portion of our lives that will not hinder God's will for you! Know that God has your back and that He has a plan for you. That doesn't mean don't study, you still have to study and at least pass your class, but if you are meant to go to ____(insert Grad school of your choice) then God will see to it that it happens, so long as you remain faithful to Him. Study and try to do well but do not let it take over your life and stress you out! God is waiting for you with outstretched arms. Life will go on...

Santa Claus

Being Christmas time, some of the most often seen symbols are Santa Claus and the Cross. We all know the symbolism of the Cross and the true meaning of Christmas (being the birth of Christ). But, have you ever wondered where the idea of Santa Claus came from? Well the other at the BSU party our intern read us the history of Santa Claus or more precisely named, Saint Nicholas. So Saint Nicholas was a very religious, God fearing man that decided to give gifts to the underprivileged around this time of year to celebrate the birth of Christ, as we do every year. Over the years Saint Nicholas's legacy has continued, but has now become skewed. We have turned one man's sacrificial obedience into a materialistic mythical character. Now Santa Claus is the face of Christmas and we focus more upon Santa and the gifts than we do the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of our Savior. How do you think Saint Nicholas would feel if he knew that his obedience to God has turned into this which has shadowed the celebration of Christ our King? I'm not saying that people who do Santa gifts are wrong but I believe there comes a time in a child's life when they are mature/old enough to understand the true story of Saint Nicholas and the meaning of Christmas.

Anyways that was my blurb about Christmas...so I was rummaging through some of my papers and pictures from this summer and really miss the summer and everybody from Caswell. I love every single person from this summer and miss everybody so much and I really can't wait for reunion now! I thank God that He has put everyone in my path and has allowed me to be a part of their lives also. I came across this promise that we wrote to God and it was somewhat of a wake up call, in that I questioned whether I was living out what I had written. I decided to put it up somewhere that I will be able to read it everyday to just be a constant reminder of how I should be living. Here is what it said...
"Lord, I submit myself to You and am committing myself to You and being faithful to You God. I will not let my relationships, school, work or anything in my life hinder me from having faith in You Lord. Lord Jesus take it all from me, I lift these burdens to You take them and do with me whatever You will. I will be faithful to You and I surrender to Your Will."

Are you surrendering and being faithful?
(Just as a side note: I hope nobody feels as if I am being judgmental towards anybody; I am simply accounting my life and writing things that will be reminders and encouragement for me as I hope they will be the same for you).

Longing...

I've been thinking lately about how we long for things so often, and most of the time we fail to see what is right in front of our faces. There's been multiple occasions where I've longed to be somewhere or with somebody or to have something, when God has provided so much for me already. I have this longing to have love and a relationship only those who've experienced it can explain. But what I've realized is that God has that same longing except it is a relationship and love with us. Unfortunately, at times I myself am too busy worrying about me and what I want to see that God is right here with His arms opened wide. I've never known a love so true, and yet I still don't give God what is His. Instead of spending time with Him I am spending time longing for what I cannot provide. God has provided, but it is I who have to choose to open my eyes and stop longing for something else. "I won't be lonely tonight, because my maker is holding me." "Lord I want to yearn for you, I want to burn with passion." Are you still longing?

Trying to stay positive

Well, I found out today that I am going to have to have surgery on my ankle again. I had surgery on the same ankle about 2 years ago and I have re-injured it and am going to have surgery on December 19, the day before I leave for Ohio for Christmas. While this isn't the end of the world, I know, it is something that continually brings me down. The reason this is is because sports have always been a big part of life and I love to just go out and play around, but with these ankle injuries I have not been capable of going out and playing as much as I want to. For me it is hard for me to see the bright side of this recurring injury, but since I have been through it multiple times now, it is simply a humbling experience. Since I could not play sports I would go and support them and be their "coach" and just provide a good attitude for everyone out there and would conduct the prayers before and after the games. So, while this seems like a downing experience, I am trying to let God use me in new and different ways that don't include me being involved with sports. Since there is nothing I can do about this, I place it in God's hands and allow Him to continue to use me. How are you being used?

Poetry

Ok, so I am taking this class entitled Intro to Poetry. I know what you're thinking, poetry, how easy. This class is definitely not that simple, but today we had an opportunity to read our favorite poems or lyrics. The poem I chose was written by William Byrd and is entitled "Death is Nothing but a Moment's Rest," and it is a great Christian poem that has described how I've felt along the way of my Christian walk. While others were reading their poems and some performing, it just felt like God was speaking and basically laying it out there for those who don't know him. Not only through the poem I chose but from other poems that didn't have to do with God or Christianity at all. One of the girls in the class performed the song "Cathedrals," and there is a couple lines that read as follows, "In the cathedrals of New York and Rome There is a feeling that you should just go home And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is." I continued to think about this and thought about where is home. Home...is it where I was born (Ohio), is it where I've been raised (Southport), or is it where I will spend eternity? So just where is home, it is all three for all three are what make me whole. There was another poem that just caught my attention, I do not remember who wrote it or the title, but these following lines were stuck in my head and I thought about it all day. "It is better to be a part of beauty for one instant and then cease to exist than to exist forever and never be a part of beauty." WOW!! That is all I could say after thinking about those lines. For me I took beauty to be the love of Christ and for me to be a part of the love of Christ and His sacrifice for us for one instant and then cease to exist is better than to exist forever and never experience His love, grace, and mercy. Therefore, since I know how it feels to be a part of the love of Christ it has been laid upon me to share this love so that other will not have to go their whole lives without experiencing the love of Christ. Where is your home? Are you being a part or are you just existing?